Wednesday, July 18, 2007

My First Girlfriend

My First Girlfriend

My very first girlfriend, whom I met online thank you, was a major butch. Triple XXX chromosome butch. I don’t know if that’s what I was looking for, I can attest that I was consciously searching for someone who ID’d as 100% lesbian, my thinking being that I needed someone who knew what they were doing … which led me to Robin.

Robin was a very troubled soul. She was fighting a history of mental illness and not in good shape physically, but very good looking and not put off by my lack of experience. I was surprised to discover initially that most lesbians my age did NOT want to introduce me to the pleasures of lesbian love. They were not amused by my inexperience or curiosity. They didn’t want to take a chance on bringing me out, and then losing me if I decided to return to the world of men. They also were afraid that once I found out what I’d been missing, I would want to do a lot of experimenting. In other words, they wouldn’t take me seriously.

But Robin fearlessly went where others hesitated to tread. She lived a 5 hour drive away. We visited back and forth a couple of times and spent hours nightly IMing and calling each other. At first everything was fine in the world of Robin but gradually talking to her was like receiving missives from the home front. First her roommates were taking her rent money, but not using it for rent. Then they stopped paying their share. Then she was having trouble at work. Then she broke her collarbone and lost her job and got evicted and … OK, OK, OK, … please Robin, I live in this big, empty house, please come and live with me. I was so new, so naïve, so exactly what Robin was looking for.

So here she came, not on her own steam of course – I had to go and get her. And I rescued her from her terrible living situation. Well, she didn’t appreciate it at all. She was no sooner on my turf, than she was on the internet and phone looking for her next savior. I’d come up behind her and hear her telling her next victim (an ex named Joni) the same sorry things she told me about her former difficult life. I was livid. When she announced she was leaving a couple of months after her arrival, I happily handed her over to Joni.

I kept in touch with Robin as the years passed by, amused by the trials and tribulations of her life as she bounced from rescuer to rescuer. She actually crossed paths with me about 4 years later, while I was living with my partner in Las Vegas. She came for a visit to check out the situation and went on her way. Her health had deteriorated over the years. Even though she is younger than I was, both knees had given out and she could barely get around.

After awhile we lost touch and then she surfaced again a few months ago. It has been 7 years since we’d been involved. She saw my personal ad online and realized that I was single again and back in southern California. Guess what – Robin was badly in need of rescuing! She had moved across country to live with a woman and her husband and her ex gf in a single wide mobile home out in the middle of nowhere. Inconveniently, her beloved suddenly died four months later and there she was. She was paying rent to the husband and he was good naturedly driving her around to her doctor and dental appointments, as her health worsened. It was a drama free existence but not very good for the soul.

She asked if she could come for a visit. I agreed and soon, there she was. She befriended my daughter, acquainted herself with the dogs and admitted that she really wanted to move back to southern California. Conveniently, of all her exes I was the only one she’d consider moving to be with. I was the only one she’d ever loved and the only one normal enough to have a drama free future with.

Of course, I knew she was still exactly the same person, still running exactly the same scam. But I care about her and I’m grateful to her and I had an extra bedroom and for about a 2 week period I actually considered letting her move back in with me. But thankfully common sense kicked in. I knew for a fact that she hadn’t learned a damn thing. She wouldn’t appreciate being rescued this time any more than she had the first time.

The reason that I am sharing my story with you is as a warning to all of you newbies out there. There are a lot of women who are looking for someone to take them in and support their sorry asses. Be Careful! An experienced lesbian can spot these types a mile away. As a newcomer, you will be fair game. You will find these con artists inhabiting the outskirts of the lesbian world. They bring newcomers out, they date married women, they stear clear of anyone they could actually have a real relationship with. Because this would keep them from their favorite activity – finding their next savior/victim.

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