Monday, August 27, 2007

101 Things About Me That You Don't Know

1) I love marching bands
2) I was a majorette in high school
3) I still own a baton and still twirl it
4) I used to run a Barry Manilow fan club
5) I abhor fiction and only read non-fiction
6) I've written two plays
7) I am writing a screenplay
8) In every live-in relationship I've ever had, I was left for another woman
9) Evidentially, it takes no time at all to get over me.
10) I clearly have unresolved abandonment issues.
11) I'd rather have too much work to do than not enough
12) I have been to Italy, as everyone should
13) I look so German that strangers frequently comment on it, more so as I get older.
14) I'm left handed
15) They don't like German-looking left handed people in Italy
16) I've taken two cruises
17) This is my 5th year of blogging
18) I miss water skiing and wonder if I will ever get a chance to do it again.
19) If I do get to water ski, I wonder if my arms are strong enough to haul my ass out of the water.
20) When I was 13, I wrote in my diary that I was married to Paul McCartney
21) My favorite flowers are white ones
22) I HATE the smell of roses
23) I try to follow a low fat/high fiber eating style with varying degrees of success.
24) My personality profile said that I am a "Perfectionist"
25) Apparently, I'm rather anal about getting the details right
26) I'm an orphan
27) I am the first-born child
28) I have two younger
29) I like wispy, ethereal-looking things … like fairies and white peacocks
30) If I lost 100 lbs. I'd weigh exactly what I weighed in high school
31) I'm into spiritual self-help books like The Secret and Sacred Contracts
32) I've been married once to my three daughter's father
33) My ex-husband and I used to own an RV center
34) I've had a gay commitment ceremony
35) I've lived in 6 different states
36) I was born and raised in Flint Michigan
37) I have a mermaid fetish
38) I used to have a kitchen decorated entirely in a panda bear theme
39) I have a Xena Warrior Princess comic book collection
40) I am a codependent parent
41) I've had children living at home with me for over 36 years
42) I came out at the age of 49
43) I am an experienced stage makeup artist
44) I do face painting for children's parties
45) I have a real estate license
46) A foreign exchange student from Spain live with us for a year
47) I was single for 20+ years between my divorce and coming out
48) I've decorated many cakes, including wedding cakes
49) I have been wealthy for most of my life
50) I have been bankrupt twice
51) I've been to over a 100 Barry Manilow concerts
52) I have the kind of hearing loss that comes from going to too many concerts
53) I used to have better than 20/20 vision
54) I can still see far away extremely well
55) A friend and I have a cooking blog
56) I was married at 17
57) My best friend in grade school is still the most intelligent person I've ever known
58) I used to model bathing suits in high school
59) I got my senior pictures for free by modeling different colored caps and gowns
60) I crashed a lecture at Harvard to meet author Leslie Feinberg ("Stone Butch Blues")
61) I once crashed a convention because I heard that Barry Manilow was the entertainment
62) I like small dogs
63) I don't like my job
64) I retired from the California school district system
65) I used to have a bad reputation in high school
66) I've owned 10 houses and 1 condo
67) I once had a red-boned coon hound named Red Blaze of Glory
68) My parents won me in a Bingo game (it's a long story)
69) I went to Catholic school for 11 years
70) I'm a trained belly dancer
71) I started turning grey at age 12
72) I was almost completely grey by age 40
73) I am 3rd generation American
74) The fastest I've tested at typing is 82 wpm
75) I know shorthand
76) My favorite color is green
77) I created a board game
78) I co-wrote a book, printed it and sold 350 copies
79) I'm a seller on ebay
80) I am supporting myself financially for the first time in my life
81) I've taught modeling classes
82) My first job was babysitting in a bowling alley
83) I've interned as a legal secretary
84) I'm a certified travel agent
85) I was a licensed manicurist
86) I took a 2 year medical secretary course in college
87) I've taken a medical transcription course
88) I still have a lot of family back in Michigan
89) I haven't left the house without makeup on since I was 13 years old.
90) A psychic predicted my last live-in relationship in excruciating detail
91) I almost died having my tonsils removed
92) According to my mother, I had polio when I was two
93) I've never believed that
94) I went out and found a Chihuahua that looked just like my last Chihuahua
95) The two dogs are nothing alike
96) In total, I trained for 5 years to be a secretary, including continuing ed classes
97) I'm tired of being a secretary
98) I spent 7 years of my life breastfeeding
99) I would have liked to have had 5 children, all girls
100) Instead I have 3 daughters and a granddaughter
101) I am the parent of a Peace Corp Volunteer

Sunday, August 19, 2007


My daughter and I are hooked on the HBO series Big Love. It's a show about a polygamist and his three wives. Very cleverly and thoughtfully written and highly entertaining! Something similar exists in the gay world and the term is Polyamory - a Greek word which means "many loves." I'd never heard of it until I began to explore gay culture.

It's not exactly the same thing. Polygamy is a religious, cultural thing and the general consensus seems to be that not all the participants are there by choice. Polyamory is more of a lifestyle choice and consent is necessary. Also, while polyamory may not be exactly smiled upon socially, it isn't illegal ... as long as you don't attempt to marry all of your partners.

My friend Ann took a workshop on Polyamory and explained to me that it starts with a core person who has a primary relationship and then opens it up to an additional lover. What makes it different from cheating is that all parties are fully informed and in agreement and frequently all live together.

I always assumed that it meant that all 3 people in the relationship would be intimate with each other, but that is not always the case. And it's different than a couple who have a 3rd roommate. Evidentally someone has to be having sex with both of the others. Usually it is three people, although my research turned up the fact that there are larger groups of polyamorous people somewhere out there.

I had to ponder why it seems to be more prevalent in the gay world than in the straight world ... possibly because if you have 3 people all being intimate together somebody must be doing something gay? I also have to admire those lucky core 'people collectors' who are able to keep multiple partners happy and interested. I personally can't hold on to even one.

I actually know someone who tried out the polyamory lifestyle. It wasn't for her. Like me, she needs to be number one in her partner's life.