A Women's Mixer

Yes Virginia, the Palm Springs area DOES have a lesbian bar. And a wondrous place it is too! More of a community center than a bar, really. Last night I went there to meet friends after work. The place was hopping and I met a couple of other lateblooming lesbos there. One in particular was very interesting, a femme by the name of Lindsey. We had a few things in common, we're both the same age and have grown children. We put our heads together for a nice, long chat.

Lindsey was very cute, very ingenuous about the whole thing, getting off on "the feminine energy" that she shares with her "new group of friends." There was a lot of talk about who she has come out to and who she hasn't. She was just sure that a member of her family was secretly gay, or should be. She had plans to talk to this cousin and fill her in on the facts of life.

"Whoa!" says I (me being the more experienced one.) I was only too happy to share ...

What I Have Learned In My 8 Years of Lesbianism

1) The entire world is not secretly gay, no matter how badly you want it to be.

2) You can't tell someone that they are gay. They have to figure it out for themselves.

3) It's best to come out to someone as casually as possible. Don't take how they initially react personally. Be patient and give them space afterwards to wrap their mind around the news.

4) Coming out does not happen once during a certain period of your life. It is something that you will have to do for the rest of your life. And it doesn't get easier as time goes by. It gets harder.

After our very intense, long talk, I asked our mutual friend Norma if Lindsey has even had sex with a woman yet? I asked because it's only been a year since she figured it out, she's still living with her kids and there wasn't any talk of any past romances .. just a lot of chatter about various women she has crushes on. Norma really couldn't say.

Stay tuned, this is only going to get better.