Dyke Drama

Once you enter the lesbian world you will hear the word “Drama” bandied about with great frequency. For example, many personal ads will insist that the sender “doesn’t want drama,” or “isn’t into drama”. It makes you wonder, what’s been the reason for all of the drama in their past? Could it possibly be that their behavior has generated it?

Dyke drama, as closely as I can figure, happens so much because women are more vocal about expressing their feelings than men. Men will go to great lengths to keep situations from getting too messy. They will date you, proclaim that they are totally into you and having a wonderful time and then just fade away... anything to avoid an unpleasant scene. But women expect more from each other. They believe in communication. They are only too glad to share with you why they don’t ever want to go out with you again.

Also, women tend to jump into relationships. The scenario plays out something like this ~ You like me? Wow, well, I like you too … and they’re off. Suddenly you are two or three months into a really intense relationship (during which time moving vans have been put to use and multiple promises have been made) before you begin to get a glimmer of what kind of relationship problems you’re facing.

Even if a couple seem pretty compatible, there are drama queens who can turn any molehill into a mountain. They are the kind of women who seem to require adrenaline coursing through their veins constantly and thrive on the heightened tensions they create. This is the type of woman who will walk into an event filled with single lesbians and zero in on the only one wearing a wedding ring. They will purposely pursue that person and then become the victim when all hell breaks loose.

So the next thing you know voices are being raised and random items are flying about the room. The fall out can range from a few words being exchanged in private to the justice system becoming involved.

The best say to survive Drama is to try to get a feel in advance for how much drama will be involved with perspective partners. Proceed with caution, take your time getting involved with someone (especially sexually,) don’t make promises too soon, pay attention to red flags, don’t ever feel that you are too far into a relationship to do anything other than proceed full speed ahead. It’s okay to ask for a time out or take a step back. It’s okay to keep your own space for the first year or two or even longer.

And most of all ask questions and listen, really listen, to the answers. People will tell you the truth about themselves right off the bat. Believe what they tell you. Don’t let your ego get involved and start thinking that this person will be different with you. Don’t project higher qualities onto your love interest than they actually possess. Good luck.